As usual the show starts off with the intro and "Burn it to the Ground" which I haven't heard in months and to be fair is more kick-ass than anything we're going to see inside the ring tonight. Sad but true. Into said ring steps Edge now to kick off the first segment of the night, in which he explains that he is finally sick of waiting. He gives a few examples on what he doesn't like to wait, including Michael Cole suddenly stopping to be a tool - what get's him the first real crowd reaction of the night and of course the usual bitching from Cole. So yes, Edge doesn't want to wait and is about to call the Miz out to start their match right now when the GM buzzes in at the four minute mark.
Do I have to mention that Edge is not pleased and Cole very happy? Anayway, since the General Manager apparently hasn't forgotten Edge's (successful) attempt to destroy the laptop when he last was on Raw there is no match but three men coming in to throw the World Champion out of the ring to gain the #40 spot in the Royal Rumble. It's Tyson Kidd, Jack Swagger and Drew McInytre - Edge disposes of them in a matter of probably two minutes.
Edge threatens to smash the computer and is urged on by the King "Go ahead. Get him, Edge!" while Michael Cole tries to stop him, begging Edge to not do it. One cue Nexus' music hits and out comes CM Punk tailed by his four loyal followers.
Punk talks about how the Royal Rumble evolves into something bigger with 40 men coming in the ring (I really want to rant about that, but unfortunately now's not the time) and how Nexus evolves too. Next he introduces Mason Ryan - who I guess was lucky to keep his name. Ryan says only one word: "Faith". CM Punk goes on to explain that the members of Nexus are bonded by faith unlike John Cena and Smackdown's Nexus. He says that they will unite to make him the winner of the Royal Rumble so that he can main event Wrestlemania and Nexus will be the most powerful group the "WWE Universe" has ever seen.
Since he called them the "poor man's Nexus on SmackDown" it's the Corre out next - best comment on the Youtube titantron: "You're either corre or you're a whore.". So of course they immediately get into each other's faces about who has the better group which is interrupted by the GM who says that he is the one making the rules here and that it will be Wade Barrett of the Corre vs. the leader of the new Nexus, CM Punk, later on. The losers will be out of the Royal Rumble - and right here you know that there is a 99% chance that this match will end in a DQ - insert desperate sigh here... oh, and John Cena will be the referee.
And did anyone see the bags under CM Punk's eyes? Honestly the guy looked like the made a night of it.
Is Raw a Smackdown-fest tonight? Seems that way, because next is John Morrison & Mark Henry vs. Sheamus & Alberto del Rio. I know, I know, Mark Henry is always booked as a threat around the Rumble and they're obviously putting efford into making ADR look like a serious competitor too (God, please don't let him win), but it's the third appearance from an SD member - or members in The Coore's case - and that's really too much. Concerning the match: John Morrison can be as bad he wants on the mic, but his in ring work gets better every time I see him. His kicks are - to say it in Miz' way - awesome. Other than that it wasn't overly special. The heels won.
The Divas Title is on the line next in a match-up between Melina and Natalya. I have three words for this match: This. Was. Hardcore. - if you consider that we're talking about two women in a WWE ring. Good work as opposed to what we usually see from the Divas.
After a reminder of how Punk introduced Mason Ryan last week we go backstage to the Nexus. Basically Husky, Otunga and McGillicutty are not sureif CM Punk can win the Royal Rumble, especially if he comes in first and the others a while later - plus Cena will be the ref tonight and Punk was the guy who made his life a living hell the last weeks. They have a point, but their leader tells them to have faith - CM Punk is just amazing in that messiah/leader role.
Next we have Josh Matthews interviewing John Cena who says that he will eliminate whatever Nexus group wins tonight in the Royal Rumble. He muses what the second r in The Corre means when he his interrupted by the Miz and Alex Riley. Cena goes on to say that it stands for rectum and gives a pointed look from Miz to Riley - what is about the worst kind of profanity just there. Bah! The Awesome one's counter with an absolutely hilarious round of evil laughter (search for it on Youtube if you didn't watch the show).
Anyway, Cena is not funny anymore. Yes, he wasn't overly funny last year but it really got worse since 2011 started. We get a video package from Miz and Riley beating down Randy Orton last week before the cameras are back to show master and apprentice walking down the ramp - what's that damn briefcase for anyway? Cole rants about how cool Miz is.
The match is about to start with Edge now in the ring too when suddenly Dolph Ziggler's music interrupts and Edge does not look happy seeing his ex-wife and the Nr. 1 Contender for his Championship coming to the ring - neither am I, Edge, neither am I... they join the commentators and Dolph Ziggler actually has mic skills. I know that Vicky has them but obviously her boyfriend got some good vibes from her here. I've never really heard him talk before so that's probably why I'm more than a little surprised at this.
To be honest the commentary hurt the match big time here. Vicky, Dolph and Cole were too focused on ganging up on Lawler to really pay attention to the actually CHAMPION vs. CHAMPION match. The King tried to talk about the match at some points, but it didn't overly help. Plus whenver it seemed to get good there was a commercial. I'm sorry for Miz and Edge here, because they might haven't gone all out like they would have on a PPV, but they tried and in the end it was the environment that made this match lesser than it was.
The end comes when Edge sets up the Spear on Miz but is attacked from behind by Ziggler all of a sudden. Of course it is an instant DQ win for the World Champ who promptly eats a Zig Zag by the Nr. 1 Contender. Riley is in the ring too, looking after Miz when Orton comes running down the ramp and goes straight after Miz who is still down. A-RY and Ziggler try to hold him back to no avail and he chases the champ and beats him up on ringside.
But we all know that Miz is a slippery bastard and he lures the Viper back into the ring were both Riley and Ziggler have to fall victim to a RKO to make the crowd happy before Miz ramms his briefcase into Orton's knee from behind, grabs his belt and is out of the ring in seconds, leaving Orton standing in the ring staring after him.
Backstage Wade Barrett tells Josh Matthews that the Corre has no leader and they have no issues with John Cena anymore - too bad that Cena seems to have issues with them. Oh, and no, they had nothing to do with the attack on Teddy Long last week on Smackdown and Wade Barrett wishes him a fast recovery.
Well, now the Bellas are backstage fighting over who get's Daniel Bryan's virginity (that's what this is about, isn't it?). Their only problem: he is making out with Gail Kim. And Gail get's herself two stars awarded right there - one for telling the Bellas how it is i.e. saying that there are no Guest Hosts and that they have nothing to do without Guest Hosts around, and number two forl ooking absolutely gorgeous.
I thought it was already time for the main event but no, we get a tag team match first. It's Santino & Kozlov vs. Nexus a.k.a. Husky Harris and Michael McGillicutty. Do I care? Whatever, Nexus dominates and Harris pins Santino clean in the middle of the ring.
Finally the main event is on now. It's The Corrrrre vs. The New Nexus or rather Wade Barrett vs. CM Punk after John Cena sends the remaining members of both groups back into the locker room to a round of cheers.
The match in itself is just ridculous. Cena doesn't count a pinfall, signs for fans at ringside and shoves both Barrett and Punk around as he pleases reminding them that he is the referee whenever one of them makes a move to punch him. At some point Punk and Barrett hit a double clothline and Cena has them both disqualified for "use of excessive profanity" because this a PG show. So they are both out of the Royal Rumble. Aha. Cena call it genuis, I call stupidity.
For once we can thank good for the GM who is not down with this says that allows both the Corre and The New Nexus to compete in the Rumble. John Cena though as to apologize to both or he won't be in it - where I come from we call this pwnd. As we all know however, hell will freeze over before Vince misses a chance to shove Cena down our throats, so of course he does apologize only to start beating down on Punk and Barrett.
Corre and Nexus come for the save, they tease attacking John Cena and then have the Big Show followed by the rest of the locker room coming down the ramp to end Raw in a big messy brawl and completely and utterly unnecessary here. That is how we end Monday Night Raw: with a sigh and in hope that the Royal Rumble will be a lot better than this.
No comments:
Post a Comment